Many thanks for your patience with my limited blogging and photos while I’m in India. As I’ve mentioned before, our Internet connection at the hotel is painfully slow so uploading photos has been virtually impossible. Having said that, I wanted to give you some updates on what we’ve been doing and a few moments of introspection…
Yesterday, Saturday, we traveled to Mysore which is a couple hours outside Bangalore. It was a long drive but totally worth it. Mysore is pretty incredible. We went to the top of Chamundi Hill where we visited a temple and got a great view of the town below. After that, we ate lunch in a very lavish hotel/palace looking place. Being here almost made you feel like you took a trip back in time to British India. I decided to eat a little more conservatively since my stomach was slightly upset.
After lunch, we traveled to Mysore Palace. A very impressive building. Upon entering the palace grounds, I was told that I had to leave my camera in their “camera room” since photography was prohibited inside the palace itself. Haha… Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen. So, they told me that I could walk around the palace grounds but could not go inside. Not a problem. That gave me a chance to wander around for an hour or two while my coworkers went inside.
Despite the huge palace, I felt like I was actually the top tourist attraction. I was approached at least 10-15 times to pose for a photo with people. I’m guessing large white men with cameras are still somewhat of a novelty here.
It’s very… exciting to wander around a place with people that are so different. It’s a weird mix of nervousness and adrenaline. The looks you get from people are amazing. As a rough estimate, I’d say about 40% of people were looking at me very suspiciously almost as if they were ready to attack me for being there. Another 50% stared at me (and the camera) with sheer wonder and fascination like I was from another planet. Finally, the last 10% looked like they were extremely happy that I was there. And, of that, about 5% of the young ladies looked and smiled at me almost as if they were immediately infatuated with me and would follow me anywhere. It’s quite amazing.
After the palace, we simply went into town and walked around for a couple hours. The town reminded me very much of Nablus, albeit with many more people and traffic. After we stopped for some coffee, our driver picked us up for the long drive back to Bangalore.
This morning, I slept in a little bit and left the hotel around 11 with my manager to go get a bite to eat at a fancy hotel. After this, we met up with some of our Indian colleagues to do some shopping on Brigade Road and Commercial Street. I was feeling a little light-headed so I actually ended up going back to the hotel early to get some rest in preparation for some classes I have to teach this week.
Which brings me to something that’s bothering me…
I didn’t take too many photos today but there was one photo opportunity I ended up missing almost as soon as we arrived on Brigade Road. While we were standing in front of the KFC (our designated meeting spot), a young boy no older than 11 was sitting on the sidewalk with a young girl no more than 4 or 5 laying across his lap. She was either sleeping or completely unconscious. Both were dirty and barefoot from what must have been days of begging on the street. He looked at us more than a few times motioning with his hand to his mouth, asking for money or food or both.
For a few minutes, I alternated between being entranced to averting my eyes out of shame. I wanted the shot. I wanted to help. Unfortunately, I did neither. It’s very easy to get caught up and “go with the flow”. All of the locals and people on the street walk by this sight without so much as a glance. I hesitated long enough that, before I knew it, we were about a block or two away and I had, effectively, lost the chance.
Now, I can’t get that boy out of my head. I don’t know exactly what I should have done. Should I have simply given him some money and sat down on the street a few feet away and start shooting? Is that really helping? I know that photojournalists often justify shooting situations like by saying “they’re telling their story”. I generally believe that but it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense when presented with this kind of situation. Telling their story to who? Is that photo going to save this kid’s life? No. In fact, it wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference to his life. The only benefit I can see is that it would have simply been a powerful shot for my portfolio and I feel selfish because I can’t stop kicking myself for not taking it.
There’s a line in the musical Miss Saigon that says:
“Christ, I am American, how could I fail to do good…”
That sums up a lot of how I feel about situations like this. Sure, it might be somewhat naive to think that I can somehow save the world or even one person from what appears to be a predetermined fate. And, there’s a part of me that wishes I was little “harder” when it comes to these situations… Take the shot, give him a few rupees, and move on.
I don’t think that’s the right path, though. I don’t want to lose that naivete, that sense that what I do with my camera can and does make a difference. If I lose that, then what’s the point? Why not just shoot professional football games and fashion models? It would certainly pay more.
I don’t know what the answer is. I do know, however, that doing this kind of work is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Balancing my guilt, shame, and emotion with the need to take the shot is something that I imagine I’ll wrestle with for a long time… My success in doing so and my potential success as a photojournalist are inextricably entwined.
Having said all that, I leave you with a couple of my shots from yesterday:
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Tags:
bangalore,
india,
mysore,
photojournalism,
travel 
